Not sure if Im okay or not, but life is hard. As Im entering the age of 20, everything has changed. From friends to lifestyle and also environment. I dont know what Ive done so wrong that life turned upside down and to the unexpected event.
I met many people along the journey. Some good, some bad. People may look that Im okay but deep down inside nobody know how hard Im struggling with my own feelings. The pain still there but, day by day it is disguise by strong feelings that I have for this boy. Thank you for taking my pain away man. Sometimes I feel like I dont deserve him. He's out of my league but nobody knows how it happened and me myself is overwhelmed by his present.
To the friends that I lost, maybe because Im not that good in friendship. Maybe sometimes you are hurt by me without realizing but Im still with my ego, Im so sorry it happened this way. We used to be friends but I dont value you very much, not appreciating everything that you have done to me. Now that Im regretting every decision that I made for my own sake. Nobody know how much it hurts. And to the friends that I dont know why you seem to drift away from me, maybe because misunderstanding or boys problem, I already forgive you. Let bygone be bygone.
To the man that Ive ditched without explanation, Im sorry. maybe Im blind with love, I dont know how to love and how to handle this, Im sorry. Im sorry that I hurts you and you know who you are.
This degree life is hard. I dont know why Im taking this course eventho Im from science base student. But I believe in Allah. Allah has a better plan for me. InsyaAllah everything will fall back into it places. I will be starting my internship this september, I hope that everything going well for me. InsyaAllah