little talks


known as rehanmuhd. in her early 20s. major in Landscape Architecture. love to read books esp from Haruki Murakami, Lindsay Kelk and in love with poems by Michael Faudet & Lang Leav. Love indie music and band boys. 5SOS and All Time Low are her favorite.

still writing in 2016 if shes not busy or sleeping

Friend or foe // Tuesday, 16 August 2016
Ive came across my friend's status on facebook about friends. Guess I gotta share it here

Kids, when i was about your age, finding a true friend is not easy.throughout the life, i've met different kinds of bitches.the hypocrites, the selfish bitch, backstabber, the bitch that came only in your happy moments and left when you are in trouble, the bitch who pretends to like you but in reality she's just using u for her own benefit, the bitch who pretends to like you because her friend is your friend, the bitch who says you look pretty when you put on an ugly dress, the bitch who you put all your trust on her but she eventually tells your secret to anyone she preferred, the bitch who is insecure with your achievements and pretends to be happy for you but actually she's not, and you know..bitches

 there's no definite plan.just go and do your thing whether you like it or's ok to not being recognize and suffer in silence as being silence is not always considered as dumb.we just know everything but we choose to not being in the spotlight.we choose to be the shadows it make us feel happier that way.being just the shadows

unexpected //
Not sure if Im okay or not, but life is hard. As Im entering the age of 20, everything has changed. From friends to lifestyle and also environment. I dont know what Ive done so wrong that life turned upside down and to the unexpected event.

I met many people along the journey. Some good, some bad. People may look that Im okay but deep down inside nobody know how hard Im struggling with my own feelings. The pain still there but, day by day it is disguise by strong feelings that I have for this boy. Thank you for taking my pain away man. Sometimes I feel like I dont deserve him. He's out of my league but nobody knows how it happened and me myself is overwhelmed by his present.

To the friends that I lost, maybe because Im not that good in friendship. Maybe sometimes you are hurt by me without realizing but Im still with my ego, Im so sorry it happened this way. We used to be friends but I dont value you very much, not appreciating everything that you have done to me. Now that Im regretting every decision that I made for my own sake. Nobody know how much it hurts. And to the friends that I dont know why you seem to drift away from me, maybe because misunderstanding or boys problem, I already forgive you. Let bygone be bygone.

To the man that Ive ditched without explanation, Im sorry. maybe Im blind with love, I dont know how to love and how to handle this, Im sorry. Im sorry that I hurts you and you know who you are.

This degree life is hard. I dont know why Im taking this course eventho Im from science base student. But I believe in Allah. Allah has a better plan for me. InsyaAllah everything will fall back into it places. I will be starting my internship this september, I hope that everything going well for me. InsyaAllah

marshmallow // Tuesday, 26 July 2016
baby baby I hope you read this :)

omg I dont know how to say this, but sayang how can you bersabar with my behaviour. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH sampai x tau nak tulis apa. hahhahaa.  kbai

step out of your comfort zone // Friday, 15 July 2016
Today, Ive tried to make changes to my life by taking a first step to obtain an illegal certificate for this things. I wake up so early and put a nice shirt and shoes. Im so excited for this day. But, you know what? I didnt see this comings. I thought everything going smoothly today. But it turns out to be, em how can I say this? Its more to frustrated. Whats the point of waking up early if the person that promised you tmrw, wakeup late? and spoil the mood?

Ive tried to not let my emotion control myself today, but Iam a woman too and then burst into tears and stop for awhile and do everything by myself. Thats why I dont like depending on others too much. Im starting to lose trust in people when they let me down so many times. Even my boyfriend...I know its hard when you get attached to someone. Ive tried not to..

To treat myself for what happens today, I dragged Nani to accompany me to eat chicken chop at our favorite cafe and take a nice shot. And you know what, I lose 2kg. Hahahaa. This made my day. Yah 5kg to goo. 

random post // Sunday, 10 July 2016
Ive been doing a lot of thinking lately and it is just one of day I feel so empty and missing someone so much. Im so glad that this hollow is finally filled with someone so great until I feel like what I do to deserve him. Hes become a part of me, like a missing puzzle, I found him. I know this sounds cheesy but hey, Im so proud to have you. Sometimes I have to pour this thought into writing because that is how I express my feelings. Through writing. I may not be the best for you but Ive tried, and I will fight for this love. I believe in us. 

There are so many things I want to do in this life. I want to achieve this before I get married and have a kids. I want to be a great woman with great job. Im entering this phase where my friends are having a job, getting engaged, and married. I havent finished my study yet but Im halfway there.

I will starting my internship this September and will be finished my degree next year. I will get a job and settle my loan and start buying car. and then, I can start planning my future with you. There is a long road ahead and I believe we will get through this. I will settle down like others, maybe sooner or later, I will .....

final part 6 // Monday, 20 June 2016
Im so close to the end of semester 6. Frankly speaking, Im not satisfied with my performance. There are so many things I have to learn. This LA world is big. enough with typing Im so tired. Lets the picture talks

his birthday // Tuesday, 14 June 2016
the first thing comes to my mind when it was so close to his birthday, what Im gonna give him? shirts? watch? football shoes? idk. finding a gift for a boy is 2 times harder than buying for a girl.

the planning. Plan for his birthday was smooth except for, its so windy on that night and the balloon that I attached to the fairy lights fly and explode. damn. the choosing for the place was not so great. the lighting is important you know to create the mood. but, at that place, argh, the lamp was so annoying.

 the candles on pizza burn so quick that I had to ask him to blow out quickly or its gonna burn the whole place. Its not like what you see in movies. The reality is so different to this and his birthday was on second day of fasting month. 

I know you moved with this little birthday surprise baby, but you deserve it. I love you

and thank you for those that  helping me, like a lot