little talks


known as rehanmuhd. in her early 20s. major in Landscape Architecture. love to read books esp from Haruki Murakami, Lindsay Kelk and in love with poems by Michael Faudet & Lang Leav. Love indie music and band boys. 5SOS and All Time Low are her favorite.

still writing in 2016 if shes not busy or sleeping

Some words to ponder // Sunday, 25 September 2016
This one is going to be different. I can promise you that. But I can also promise that you won’t ever be uninspired or bored - this is the girl who will change you, she won’t ever take your shit, and you’ll be a better man because of it.
She comes across as a paradoxical mix of outgoing but introverted, very social but seldomly out. When you’re so used to not needing anyone, you know exactly who you are, and she’ll never fake anything because of it. This makes maintaining relationships a constant struggle for her. She’ll connect with many, and they’ll quickly feel comfortable with her, but it takes her a while to feel fully comfortable, so she can only take being around others incrementally.

This might frustrate you. There seem to be so many walls to break down. Just when you start to feel like you’re figuring her out - you find another piece to the puzzle that throws everything off. Be patient. She’s this tough because she had to be. Something happened that taught her to never need anyone. Someone she needed left before she was done needing them. But none of this will spill out easily. She’s extremely uncomfortable with other people seeing her vulnerable or in pain. Her emotions and pain are hers, and this is what she’s used to.
She’ll tell herself she doesn’t need you. She’ll make situations worse by trying to suppress her feelings about them. When you fall for the girl who’s used to not needing anyone, believe that she has more feelings and layers than she knows what to do with. Her instinct will be to try to compose herself. When she does open up to you, it’s everything. Being emotionally naked with someone is how she expresses her love.

She’ll know exactly who she is and what she wants. When you’re used to not needing anyone, you do what you want, when you want, and without asking permission or informing anyone. She loves this part of her identity, but she secretly wants you to confront her. She’s hoping that sometimes, you’ll put your foot down, and challenge her stubborn ways.
She’s strong, maybe even too strong for you at first. Don’t let this fool you. This is her outer shell. Her armor. She is so used to taking care of herself that it's going to be hard for her to let someone else in. It took a lot of work to get to where she is: Independent, taking no shit and being happy on her own. She's afraid to let you in because she's afraid of what will happen if you might leave.

I can promise you it won’t be easy, she’ll hang on to her walls for as long as she can. She will be enigmatic. She will always want things her way, and she’ll fight you when she doesn’t get it.
She’ll even try to push you away. This is how she protects herself.
But when you really get to know her, she’ll be the girl who will change your life. Don’t always give in to her, but be patient with her. She’s strong, but she’s also scared - scared of love, scared of needing someone, and definitely scared of you.
Because even if she says she doesn’t need you, at her core she is just a girl who has more love than she knows what to do with.
Words by: Anna Bashedly

Those little things // Friday, 23 September 2016
Cross off my bucket list to go to theme park with my boyfriend :). seriously you're the best things that ever happen to me

The First Time // Saturday, 17 September 2016
Today is a lazy day for me. I slept literally all day. Working life is so tired.Weekend is the only day I can rest and date. em speaking of date, last night he brought me to his favorite mee sizzling at Klang Parade. never in my life I eat mee sizzling. I dont favor the colour of its 'kuah' and the way the mee looked. But since he told me many times about this mee, so I thought I gotta try it for once. So the expectation is........

I dont like kuah dia yang pekat please sorry baby tekak x leh masuk. wahhhahahahaha. dah la mkn x abis.

pastu si gila ni ajak karaoke dekat iCity dah la paksa I nyanyi. T_T. Kbai

Internship // Sunday, 11 September 2016
Sorry for the lack of update but life is so hectic this few days. As you know, I have started the internship last Monday and everything is smooth and I learned many new things and what Landscape Architect do in real life/job.

The first day of internship is so awkward and luckily all the staff is so kind and young. I was given the task by junior LAr, kak Yasmin to design a floor pattern for MRT. I was doing this thing till the 2nd day and helped her find pictures for her design.

On Wednesday, we had a company lunch and meeting. I helped Kak Bella to edit Company Profile's slide show for the meeting. Pn Marina said that Im so lucky to experience this just a few days after I entered this company.


On Thursday I studied the site and helped diploma intern make a dimension plan for this project. After lunch hour, I got called by En Iz and Pn Marina to sit down and discussed about this project. They want to change the design and I had to submit by Friday and I was likeee, weyy you give me not even close to 1 day to finish the design. I AM A DEAD MEAT.

and then I have to make quotation for supplier. This a new experience and I never learned this in university so I was like, wehh this is fun. Pray for me gais.

My second home //
So this is the first post for this month. Im back to this man's arm. We watched ' Train To Busan ' last night till 3 a.m. wow thats a new record for us. hahahaah

Friend or foe // Tuesday, 16 August 2016
Ive came across my friend's status on facebook about friends. Guess I gotta share it here

Kids, when i was about your age, finding a true friend is not easy.throughout the life, i've met different kinds of bitches.the hypocrites, the selfish bitch, backstabber, the bitch that came only in your happy moments and left when you are in trouble, the bitch who pretends to like you but in reality she's just using u for her own benefit, the bitch who pretends to like you because her friend is your friend, the bitch who says you look pretty when you put on an ugly dress, the bitch who you put all your trust on her but she eventually tells your secret to anyone she preferred, the bitch who is insecure with your achievements and pretends to be happy for you but actually she's not, and you know..bitches

 there's no definite plan.just go and do your thing whether you like it or's ok to not being recognize and suffer in silence as being silence is not always considered as dumb.we just know everything but we choose to not being in the spotlight.we choose to be the shadows it make us feel happier that way.being just the shadows

unexpected //
Not sure if Im okay or not, but life is hard. As Im entering the age of 20, everything has changed. From friends to lifestyle and also environment. I dont know what Ive done so wrong that life turned upside down and to the unexpected event.

I met many people along the journey. Some good, some bad. People may look that Im okay but deep down inside nobody know how hard Im struggling with my own feelings. The pain still there but, day by day it is disguise by strong feelings that I have for this boy. Thank you for taking my pain away man. Sometimes I feel like I dont deserve him. He's out of my league but nobody knows how it happened and me myself is overwhelmed by his present.

To the friends that I lost, maybe because Im not that good in friendship. Maybe sometimes you are hurt by me without realizing but Im still with my ego, Im so sorry it happened this way. We used to be friends but I dont value you very much, not appreciating everything that you have done to me. Now that Im regretting every decision that I made for my own sake. Nobody know how much it hurts. And to the friends that I dont know why you seem to drift away from me, maybe because misunderstanding or boys problem, I already forgive you. Let bygone be bygone.

To the man that Ive ditched without explanation, Im sorry. maybe Im blind with love, I dont know how to love and how to handle this, Im sorry. Im sorry that I hurts you and you know who you are.

This degree life is hard. I dont know why Im taking this course eventho Im from science base student. But I believe in Allah. Allah has a better plan for me. InsyaAllah everything will fall back into it places. I will be starting my internship this september, I hope that everything going well for me. InsyaAllah