little talks


known as rehanmuhd. in her early 20s. major in Landscape Architecture. love to read books esp from Haruki Murakami, Lindsay Kelk and in love with poems by Michael Faudet & Lang Leav. Love indie music and band boys. 5SOS and All Time Low are her favorite.

still writing in 2016 if shes not busy or sleeping

appreciation post // Friday, 21 October 2016
so glad that its already weekend. Im not going anywhere tonight. Today is a hell tiring for me. But not for you baby. You maybe twice tired than me. Sorry if sometimes I didnt think about how tired you are with works but still have time to reply to my text and some unimportant conversation. Maybe theres time Im acting up, need your attention and maybe reply to your text with harsh words. Im sorry if I always wanting you more and never get enough. 

You needs to know this that Im always the one that get excited everytime you ask me out. Even just for a dinner. You know how nervous I am everytime I gets to see you? It always like a first time baby. It always feels like this is our first date. It still feel new. 

You know how happy I am to be the girl of your life? To hear all your worries, your discomfort, your likes and dislikes, your happy day, your future plans? To receive unlimited love from you? To taste the sweetness of love from every inch of your body? 

Ive been in a relationship a few times but nothing can compares to this one. It feels like I know you for a long time. Maybe we had met in another space? 

talking about future // Sunday, 16 October 2016
Today I feel like sharing my thought to you all. Im in this phase where Im spending all seconds thinking about how Im gonna be after graduate and my relationship with my boyfriend.

In the middle of year 2017, we will finish our study in Bachelor of Landscape Architecture (Hons). Im thinking of staying here , doing part time, till I get a real job. Im so afraid of this world, will it be easy to get job in this Najib governance and my lack of graphic skill compared to my friends. It is real competition out there. 

and about my boyfriend. We have already talk about this and I always want to change the topic because I know how it feels to be parted. I cant even go a day without him. Even a week is a true hell for me. As we start dating at the end of semester 5,we dont always study together. and now we are in internship phase, he said that he want to create memories at campus- studying together with me. He has something that he wants to achieve in his life, and Im as his girlfriend support his decision eventho Im not 100% agree with that.We both have different aim in life and I dont know what future holds but I hope that our path crossed and we can get married and have a baby boy like you always want.

 that day will come and I will patiently wait and maybe theres more to this ups and downs of our relationship and I will fight for this like you always said, fight for us. 

Get yourself together // Thursday, 6 October 2016
Damn I miss blogging so much. My laptop has been acting weird lately so I sent it to workshop yesterday so yeah, its fine now. Im thinking of buying another laptop/pc for my final year but it requires a lot of money.

Im thinking of doing a dropship to support my finance. what do you think ? :)

and on 1st October something memorable happen between me and my bf and Im gonna remember it for the rest of my life. I love you sayang

Some words to ponder // Sunday, 25 September 2016
This one is going to be different. I can promise you that. But I can also promise that you won’t ever be uninspired or bored - this is the girl who will change you, she won’t ever take your shit, and you’ll be a better man because of it.
She comes across as a paradoxical mix of outgoing but introverted, very social but seldomly out. When you’re so used to not needing anyone, you know exactly who you are, and she’ll never fake anything because of it. This makes maintaining relationships a constant struggle for her. She’ll connect with many, and they’ll quickly feel comfortable with her, but it takes her a while to feel fully comfortable, so she can only take being around others incrementally.

This might frustrate you. There seem to be so many walls to break down. Just when you start to feel like you’re figuring her out - you find another piece to the puzzle that throws everything off. Be patient. She’s this tough because she had to be. Something happened that taught her to never need anyone. Someone she needed left before she was done needing them. But none of this will spill out easily. She’s extremely uncomfortable with other people seeing her vulnerable or in pain. Her emotions and pain are hers, and this is what she’s used to.
She’ll tell herself she doesn’t need you. She’ll make situations worse by trying to suppress her feelings about them. When you fall for the girl who’s used to not needing anyone, believe that she has more feelings and layers than she knows what to do with. Her instinct will be to try to compose herself. When she does open up to you, it’s everything. Being emotionally naked with someone is how she expresses her love.

She’ll know exactly who she is and what she wants. When you’re used to not needing anyone, you do what you want, when you want, and without asking permission or informing anyone. She loves this part of her identity, but she secretly wants you to confront her. She’s hoping that sometimes, you’ll put your foot down, and challenge her stubborn ways.
She’s strong, maybe even too strong for you at first. Don’t let this fool you. This is her outer shell. Her armor. She is so used to taking care of herself that it's going to be hard for her to let someone else in. It took a lot of work to get to where she is: Independent, taking no shit and being happy on her own. She's afraid to let you in because she's afraid of what will happen if you might leave.

I can promise you it won’t be easy, she’ll hang on to her walls for as long as she can. She will be enigmatic. She will always want things her way, and she’ll fight you when she doesn’t get it.
She’ll even try to push you away. This is how she protects herself.
But when you really get to know her, she’ll be the girl who will change your life. Don’t always give in to her, but be patient with her. She’s strong, but she’s also scared - scared of love, scared of needing someone, and definitely scared of you.
Because even if she says she doesn’t need you, at her core she is just a girl who has more love than she knows what to do with.
Words by: Anna Bashedly

Those little things // Friday, 23 September 2016
Cross off my bucket list to go to theme park with my boyfriend :). seriously you're the best things that ever happen to me

The First Time // Saturday, 17 September 2016
Today is a lazy day for me. I slept literally all day. Working life is so tired.Weekend is the only day I can rest and date. em speaking of date, last night he brought me to his favorite mee sizzling at Klang Parade. never in my life I eat mee sizzling. I dont favor the colour of its 'kuah' and the way the mee looked. But since he told me many times about this mee, so I thought I gotta try it for once. So the expectation is........

I dont like kuah dia yang pekat please sorry baby tekak x leh masuk. wahhhahahahaha. dah la mkn x abis.

pastu si gila ni ajak karaoke dekat iCity dah la paksa I nyanyi. T_T. Kbai

Internship // Sunday, 11 September 2016
Sorry for the lack of update but life is so hectic this few days. As you know, I have started the internship last Monday and everything is smooth and I learned many new things and what Landscape Architect do in real life/job.

The first day of internship is so awkward and luckily all the staff is so kind and young. I was given the task by junior LAr, kak Yasmin to design a floor pattern for MRT. I was doing this thing till the 2nd day and helped her find pictures for her design.

On Wednesday, we had a company lunch and meeting. I helped Kak Bella to edit Company Profile's slide show for the meeting. Pn Marina said that Im so lucky to experience this just a few days after I entered this company.


On Thursday I studied the site and helped diploma intern make a dimension plan for this project. After lunch hour, I got called by En Iz and Pn Marina to sit down and discussed about this project. They want to change the design and I had to submit by Friday and I was likeee, weyy you give me not even close to 1 day to finish the design. I AM A DEAD MEAT.

and then I have to make quotation for supplier. This a new experience and I never learned this in university so I was like, wehh this is fun. Pray for me gais.